Living Patiently with the Not Yet (Henri Nouwen)

This is a passage from a book called, “The Inner Voice of Love”. It has been meaningful to me when I teach about retrieving your true self. It is a healing process to rejoin shutdown parts of oneself that may have been lost in childhood trauma or disappointment. Here is the passage:
A part of you was left behind early in your life: the part that never felt completely received. It is full of fears. Meanwhile, you grew up with many survival skills. But you want yourself to be one. So you bring home the part of you that was left behind. That is not easy, because you have become quite a formidable person, and your fearful part does not know if it can safely dwell with you. Your grown-up self has to become very childlike-hospitable, gentle, and caring -so your anxious self can return and feel safe.
Jesus dwells in your fearful, never fully received self. When you befriend your true self and discover that it is good and beautiful, you will see Jesus there. Where you are most human, most yourself, weakest, there Jesus dwells. Bringing your fearful self home is bringing Jesus home in that part of yourself.
As long as your vulnerable self does not feel welcomed by you, it keeps so distant that it cannot show you its true beauty and wisdom. Thus, you survive without really living.
Try to keep your small, fearful side close to you. This is going to be a struggle, because you have to live for a while with the “not yet.” Your deepest, truest self is not yet home. It quickly gets scared. But when you become more childlike, it will begin to look to you as home.
Be patient. Avoid the temptation to let your fearful side run off. Let it teach you its wisdom; let it tell you that you can live instead of just surviving. Gradually you will become one, and you will find that Jesus is living in your heart and offering you all you need.