Hi friends! I apologize for the delay in posting. It has been a month today since my accident and I can just now type.
Joy is an outward sign of inward faith in the promises of God. (Tommy Newberry)
My mentor used to tell me to gather pain and suffering like gold where you can write a check on it one day of what you have stored up. She was the first one to demonstrate embracing suffering instead of running from it. We have the tendency to anesthetize ourselves from our pain instead of facing these giants head on. As we bravely face our pain, they lose their power and we gain courage, maturity, not lacking anything. Who wouldn’t want that? Easier said than done.
After teaching a lesson on learning the secret of being content in every situation, I faced my biggest test. I forgot that one can always expect to be tested in the area you are teaching. I knew I had accomplished this feat at one time (the contentment dilemma, that is,) but now that experience suddenly seemed just a story from ten years ago. I may have needed a refresher course.
While celebrating a girlfriend’s birthday and enjoying a much needed girls overnight, I helped Sally walk her dogs before retiring. It was a fall brisk night and I quickened my step to a jog. Suddenly a neighbor’s boxer ran up from behind and jumped at the back of my legs midair and pushed. I crashed to the cement sidewalk with impact, completely thrown off my feet, landing on my left shoulder with a crunch. When Sally ran up to give a hand to pop me back to my feet, I coiled away, unable to use that hand and stated, “I’m not okay.” I slowly trudged back to the house. To spare you all the gory details, my shoulder was broken and I would have to rate the pain level right up there surpassing childbirth on my chart.
It was hard to cope and just get through the day with the pain and the withdrawal from vigorous exercise. I looked forward to being productive since I was confined but it was a major deal to even wash my hair with one hand; I could not write or type since the left arm was injured and I am left handed. Lying flat on my back in bed became hard to bear past a few hours and when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I would wake at 2 a.m. in a cold sweat needing more pain relief leading to other troubles in the body.
Sally said she had asked God why this had happened to me and she saw this statement in her devotional, “All accidents are in God’s hands. Pain and problems are opportunities to demonstrate your trust in God.” So even though the enemy, I believe, may have caused this accident; God could definitely work it together for my good.
I am fortunate because my husband works from the house and often could help with caregiving. However, I realized how I had taken certain things for granted: the way I could drive down to the store if I needed anything or how to get out of the tub, dress, or dry my hair which all became challenges. You servants out there are the saints that offer actual help not just sympathy. I was learning about the value of the ministry of helps that I may have neglected. I also may have had a lack of compassion for those who were continually sick since I had not experienced that myself.
Another thing I discovered was when we sit still as I would in the mornings listening to worship music; it is kind of like the refiner’s fire because the impurities will come to the surface, things God wants to deal with that cannot be accessed any other way. There is a value to getting still and pondering. I have been one of those people who was fast paced running to and fro and filling my time with good relationships and good things to do but God had another level of inner healing that He wanted to accomplish. Some mornings produced many tears.
Often God speaks to me in dreams. I used to joke that it is the only time I am still enough to receive a message. Nonetheless, I am grateful for this grace. The first dream I had while convalescing was that I was with my family and we were watching a Texas Longhorns football game. (this was the college my siblings and I attended) When our team scored a touchdown, we all rejoiced! I noticed when I put my arms together at my side, I began to rise in the air a few feet. I realized that the jubilant happiness we were experiencing while our team scored a touchdown was directly related to my rising. I didn’t think it unusual that I had risen a few feet from my seat in the air but next I was able to rise to the ceiling and knew that was unusual and supernatural. I knew it was all associated with being joyful. I had been studying Phillipians 4:8 which is to think on whatever is good, praiseworthy and of good report… I wanted to teach my stepdad about these facts because he had Parkinson’s disease but at the time in the dream I didn’t have enough energy to explain it but as I got stronger I would. Outlook seemed to be very important.
I was facing a huge challenge of walking through adversity trying not to focus on pain or fear that my shoulder might not heal right but to rise and overcome my circumstances, believing for the best. When we offer our challenges up to God to be used for His purposes, we can have an impact on lives around us. Joy can emerge from the ashes of adversity. (Jesus Calling)
The Lord had already shown me that I would have an amazing recovery but I did not even know that healing naturally would be an option. This was the direction we felt God was drawing us to and then a friend called and confirmed that direction with scripture. I prayed that my bone would attach and on my next visit to the orthopedist the x-ray showed it was doing just that. I already felt like I was in the middle of a miracle.
May I pray for you?
Dear Lord,
Whatever my sisters are going through right now would you remind each of us to offer our pain and challenge to You as a sacrifice of praise? Would you turn our praise into joy as an expression of our inward faith in Your promises? Help us to rise above our circumstances as we believe that nothing is impossible with You. Embrace your daughters, God, I pray, and assure them You will never leave or forsake them. Help our witness and trust in You influence others in a positive way and increase their faith in their own situations.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen
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